How Thursday April 17th Was

Yesterday had its ups and downs, alot of pain, some depressing moments with the I can't take this much more kind of thing. As the day went on I was able to just sit outside on my swing in the sun, that was more relaxing. I'm not really sure what all this upset tummy stuff is, but I'm still having problems eating. I'm not taking anything that would be bothering it. I'm just thinking that it must have to do with just the body not feeling good, maybe some stress, but its been going on for almost a week now. I get really hungry, then I smell the food or when I start eating that's when it hurts and continues to hurt for awhile after I eat. Could be sinus' too. As for going off my neurontin, it was a better day. I took one in the morning like normal and waited around for my system to start with the burning skin and it really didn't happen. Just a little here and there but nothing bad. Took only one pill in the afternoon instead of 2 and waited again for it to throw a fit, didn't happen at all. Took my pill before going to bed and this morning it kind of was saying it wanted some but I waited until 9am before I took it and now I will just have to wait to see what going to happen from here. After not taking any excedrin in 2 weeks I broke down and took some for the pain, not so much for a headache and guess what it did, it gave me a headache. A rebound headache. So, I won't be taking that again. I guess being off 2 weeks wasn't long enough. The sun is out as of right now, but it is suppose to turn into a cloudy day. At least the temps are suppose to be around 72, I can handle that. I know at the end of next week it is going to be in the high 50's and my RSD isn't going to like that one little bit, hurts more when it is colder and that is what I'm taking the neurontin for in the first place.

On Apr. 16th

Yesterday was a so so day for me. In the mornings I have been taking one less neurontin pill and my body does not like the lower amount at all. I had so much burning and pain on my skin. I'd have to say it would come and go but when it was there it was awful. It seems that a hot flash makes the skin hurt even more. I spent alot of time reading in my lazy boy yesterday. I did manage to do just a few household things but not alot for the joint/bone pain was just to bad. By the time it came around to taking my afternoon pills, I was so ready because I knew I was taking a full dose. I minus one pill in the morning and before bed. I'm not sure how long this will all take to get off of, but I will talk this over with the neurologist on wed. Maybe there is a better way of doing it. Last night my sleep again was very strange. I went to bed around 10:30, woke up at 1:10, 4:00, 5:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00 and got up at 7:30. I know that still isn't a restful nights sleep at all. I think all the joint/bone pain is what keeps waking me up. I feel like my mattress is one hard board right now. I hate when it is time to go to bed because I know I won't sleep well at all. It was a beautiful day yesterday, in the 70's and lots of sun, just a little to windy out for me. Today is suppose to be about 70 and partly cloudy, but I hope to get out some in the free air.

So Much For That Idea

Last night around 9:30pm I started all of the sudden getting the numby/tingling feeling in my face and left arm again like I had 2 weeks ago. In that time frame I was taking the drug that was making my more dizzy, light headed and upset tummy, which I didn't take at all yesterday. The drug was for the joints pain. I did do some arm exercises while laying in bed last night, not sure if that is playing a part. Still could just be the neurontin, I don't know. Makes me go back to this is all a nerve problem again in the end. I just don't know. I also only slept for 5 1/2 hours again, I wake up from pain in the joints and bones as they crack and hurt when they move around. So my little sleepy pill just isn't giving me the whole nights worth. I wake up and then my brain won't shut off. So after 2 hours of trying to go back to sleep I simple got up. I'm having more neurontin effects with the lesser amount of pills. My skin is starting to feel like it is burning and on fire and I can only think that it is my system not liking the lesser amount, that started Sunday night but went away after taking my morning pills. But last night it didn't go away with my night time pills and is still here this morning. I do find that the afternoon and evenings is when I feel worse. I'm trying so hard not to keep thinking about all this stuff. After yesterdays family doctors appt. My spirits were pretty high except for the tummy hurting bringing me some what down. Thinking no, its probably all the neurontin because I haven't been having much numbness going on in the face and arms, if any it was very light and not all the time, just a now and then and not lasting long. At least I'm still seeing the neurologist next week. Its so hard to put all of this in the back of the mind when the feeling of the numbness, feeling the joints hurt. How do you say to yourself, its just not there, you feel nothing, you feel normal when it reminds you every minute that it is there. I'm tired of feeling out of breath, just breathing can be hard with just a plugged up nose. I have to keep taking deep breaths. Now I know my oxygen levels are fine, they were 97% when I went to the hospital and I had a cold/sinus' problems when I went in. I've been dealing with a cold/sinus problem for over a month now.

Today's Drs. Appt.

Seen my family doctor today, now I hope I haven't forgotten all she said today. She is now thinking that my problems could be from the neurontin also. She thought I looked alot better today then the last time she seen me. She still wants me to lower the dosages of my neurontin and maybe even try to go off them. Which I know that in itself will be painful, but if it makes the joints happy then I'll be happier too. If that is the problem and I can get off them and stay off them for at least a month to get it out of my system then at that time we can try to find something else that might work. She also said hormones could be a problem also, but we aren't dealing with that just yet. So, NO hormone pills for me at this time. She still wants me to see the Neurologist next week and make sure there isn't a nerve problem going on. Most of my joint pain is on the right side of my body. I've had several days of an upset tummy and we think that is from the pills she gave me 1 1/2 weeks ago, which is a drug that is in my file not to take.....lolol, my file is such a mess and the nurse has stuff all over the place so she just didn't see it. She said OPS, sorry. I haven't taken any today anyways, I cut myself off of them yesterday. So, she gave me Motrin. I will fill that prescription tomorrow. AT this time she is thinking that Fibromyalgia, MS and Lupus is NOT an issue at all. If all fails, there is another specialist that she will send me too, I just don't remember the name of that one...lol I didn't end up going off my gum today, just was to stressed out and thought this is not the time to do so, but within the next few months I plan on being off them. I have to start slowly in getting rid of them. She is also not worried about my white blood cells being so low. Both test were done by different labs and each has their own way of doing things I guess. She said I could be fighting something off right now and that to just get tested again in a month.

So, my mom went with me today and made me go get some soup at Time Hortons, got soup, roll, a donut and med. pop. I ate the roll, drank the pop, had about 5 bits of the soup, ate some crackers and that's about all I could get down. Then we went to Walmart and Aldi's and now I'm home resting on a heating pad. Shoulders were over worked with the stick shift in my car...lol I'm so tired, I only slept about 5 hours last night. Everything is just draining me these days. I have no energy to do anything. I'm trying to get some exercise in but she don't want me to over do it right now. Little at a time and not much either. Oh, I lost a bit more weight. 3 pounds in the last 1 1/2 and for the most part I have been eating more food too. I'm trying to eat at least something 3 times a day. Get a bit more fruit in me. I stopped all the diet pop. I've had caffeine free coke 3 times in the last 1 1/2 weeks. So, not sure what is up with that. But really in the last 2 1/2 weeks I have lost 8 pounds. So, I'm now tipping the scale at 123. About 8-10 pounds less then N and she isn't happy about that either....lol

Where To Begin (I Wish)

I wish it would be warm outside all the time, with lots of sun. My body feels better then, not like totally, but somewhat better. It gets cold, it gets damp and then I don't feel as well. I wish my sinus' weren't bothering me. I'm trying so hard not to take anything for headaches or sinus' at this point. I just keep taking my vitamins and the normal prescription which at this point I'd like to throw in the trash and start on a new drug. Sometime I feel like I need to even drop all the vitamins, even though I wasn't taking most of them when the pain all started. I feel like a abnormal person in this world. I'm trying so hard to keep my spirits up but that become difficult with so much pain. My muscles are so weak that it makes doing anything hard. I want my old life back, I want to feel normal, human again. I want to be able to do things when ever I want and I just can't. Each day something new hurts, something that hadn't hurt before and with more pain then that means more sitting or laying around and the weaker my muscles are getting. But if I try to work the muscles, that gives me more pain. I just can't win here for nothing. I'd like to just get through a day without having to think all the time about it or have to think about what could be wrong with me. The choices I have for what could be wrong aren't good, they are all life time problems. Could it all have started with stress, my environment? Those are possibilities.

This Is Hard

I so don't want to talk about how I feel things days. The more you talk, the more it has to be real, yet I know it is because I'm feeling it. I think if I could just get my white blood cells up I could feel so much better. We just need to find out why they are so low.

My niece had surgery yesterday and I missed it. Just couldn't sit there for it. She came out of it ok, but all through the night and today she is sick, throwing up, poor thing.

N got another job so she will be working her normal job and doing part time work at a Daycare run by the wife of someone my hubby works with. That's going to be interesting.

C finally moved out over spring break. So now it is just down to D at home. Finally...lol So during the week D helps me and then hubby comes home on the weekends. Not great when you have a wife sick with something no one knows what it is yet. Even if we aren't in the same room at least I know he is in the house and that makes me feel better.

It's Been Awhile

I know it has been awhile since I have wrote. So many things have changed since then. I'm having a few medical problems and I'm just not on the computer alot. As of right now, I just don't feel like trying to type it all out. I just wanted to let everyone know, I'm still alive.